Rue Rude

Queen's Jubilee, from France

The Gloriana, Renaissance replica manned by star oarsmen (and women)

I am not a royalist, but when I was in London a few weekends ago I bought some jubilee bunting because it was so pretty, and today seemed like a good day to put it up. As I was hanging it along the balcony, I looked down and saw one of my British neighbors all dressed up with a red union-jack sash and blue skirt. "Going to the embassy party!" she said. "Dress code is red-white-and-blue. I think I'll do, don't you?"

"You don't have to be British to love the Queen!" I said.

My visitors from London were watching the coverage on two different screens-- one the BBC, and the other France 2 which featured Karl Lagerfeld. Everybody wanted to feature him after his hilarious coverage of the royal wedding last year, but there wasn't as much he could say about a flotilla of boats.

"I didn't know it would be such a big deal, or I might have stayed in London this weekend," said one of the Germans. "The French must be so jealous." 

British scene: The multi-ethnic choir of the Royal Philharmonic, soaking wet, belting out "Land of Hope and Glory" with smiles on their faces

Yes, there are no donuts in Paris

Primo's Donuts on Sawtelle Boulevard in Los Angeles has the best donuts ever. Celia and Ralph Primo (that's Celia in the photo) have been running it since 1956. I wish I could go there right now....

Today is National Donut Day in the U.S. (I just read that it was inspired by women who served doughnuts to American soldiers in the First World War, like my grandmother who met her husband that way). 

I speak for many, many Americans in Paris-- and even French people who used to live in the States--  when I say that Paris could use a good donut store. Yes, there are croissants and pains au chocolat in plenty, the pâtisseries are marvellous, and you can make your own pancakes at home without too much trouble if you really crave them. But doughnuts (the original, hardly ever used "correct" spelling) are another matter. In the States, they're so easy to find and delicious with your morning coffee. Even if I crave one only once in a while, it's nice to know they're there.

But in Paris, while they have things that look like donuts, to this day I have never had a real donut. It's one of those lacks that someone needs to step up and fill, the way Starbucks saw the need for iced drinks and free wifi, or Haägen-Dazs saw the need for decent ice cream in Europe. There are 40 Starbucks in Paris now, including two at the Louvre; and 19 Haägen-Dazs. I assure you these are not making all their money from expats. And a world city like Paris does not suffer from having foreign food available. Have you ever been down the rue Sainte-Anne? So come on, dear Donut Provider! Step right up!

Life in Paris: the Eurostar

The Gare du Nord, late at night

One of the things that makes life in Europe so exotic for Americans is that it's so easy to go to another country. When I was growing up in Louisiana, the rest of the world felt so far away, like Mars. I did hear the old people speaking French, but no other foreign language ever. No one had ever been overseas except in military service, and everyone thought of my father's sister as adventurous because she took bus tours of Europe. 

But Americans think nothing of driving a thousand miles for their holidays. From Paris, there are dozens of countries in that radius.

The Eurostar gets from central Paris to central London in two hours and 15 minutes. A far cry from the ordeals of the old days. 

The train is delayed a lot, though. Last night I was waiting for some guests and their train, the last one, was supposed to get in at 11:15 p.m. They called to say it was delayed for an hour so I showed up at the Gare du Nord shortly after midnight with the car. It's quite hard getting a taxi from the station this late, and they had some heavy suitcases so the metro wasn't very practical.

When I got there, my heart sank. A crowd of people was milling around looking at their watches and up at the announcement board, which read "Delay, 1:15."

"What happened?" I asked a chic black woman with a Vuitton purse, who was standing chatting at the rail with a French-Indian family-- one girl in a sari, another with an American-flag scarf knotted around her neck.

"The train before this one hit an animal on the tracks and had to stop, so they stopped all the traffic," the woman said. "But I think the train will get here sooner than it says on the board." 

Soon the train did arrive, an hour and fifteen minutes late rather than at 1:15 a.m. "We all got vouchers!" my guests said. "A free ticket for another round trip! It was worth the delay."

I led them outside to my car. Two of them were Germans. "You certainly park like a French person," one of them remarked. I laughed. It's true that I drive like a Parisian. My car was parked on the sidewalk across the street from the station. But it was after midnight, and there was plenty of room and a taxi parked in front of me. 

In Paris there are three kinds of parking: legal, illegal, and really illegal. This was only the second kind, so I hadn't worried.

FAQ: Advice to visitors to Paris

I think I would like to stay here if I were a tourist and could afford it....

If you live in a city tourists like to visit, you probably have had the same thing happen to you. People call or write and say they're coming to town, and then ask you where they should stay. (Only some of them are actually asking to stay with you, and some of those, you are happy to accommodate.) And you think, "I live here. I never stay in hotels here! How on earth would I know?" But so many people ask that I thought I would post a little advice.

To stay/rent/housesit in an apartment (probably of an English-speaker), especially over Christmas or the summer, try the FUSAC website-- it's a free ad newspaper that is the biggest network for English speakers in Paris. You can also try Craigslist for Paris in English. People are often happy to have someone stay in their apts for not much money, or even free (obviously they won't advertise that-- but YOU could advertise) just to keep it occupied. If you rent, be sure and ask for references and ask the references how big/well kept up the apt is, is it in a good neighborhood, is it quiet, etc. You want to make sure the apt is not some run-down shack of a desperately poor person who needs the money. I have heard some horror stories of people finding their rental apartment had no hot water, noisy bars downstairs, filthy bathrooms, etc. Be aware that few Paris apartments have air conditioning and if the apartment is on a high floor with low ceilings, it will be very hot on warm days.

To stay in a hotel, I find Tripadvisor very useful. It appeals to all different income groups, so don't be intimidated by the expensive hotels at the top of the list. Just keep going down till you get to one with good reviews that's in your price range. I have used this technique many times to find nice hotels in various cities. Make sure the reviews are recent!

On the very cheap end, the youth hostels of Paris are quite amazing, in the absolute heart of Paris in gorgeous medieval buildings. I have checked them out several times for friends' kids and the people who stay there seem very happy with it-- plus it's a great way to meet people. 

About where to stay-- Try to stay in one of the inner arrondissements if it's your first visit. The arrondissements spiral out like a snail's shell, from the center of the city, and the inner ones have low numbers like 1 (Notre-Dame) or 2. I live in the 16th, which is very bourgeois but not very central-- we are on the far western edge of the city. It's more fun to be in the center and also more practical, because after the metros stop running, you can't find taxis in Paris, and will find yourself walking a lot. 

You can tell which arrondissement a hotel is in by its zip code. 75001 means Paris, 1st arrondissement, 75002 means the second arrondissement, and so on (the 75 is the département number for Paris). 

My advice is not to stay in the Latin Quarter (noisy and touristy)-- on the map, the streets just south of Notre Dame-- or in the outer arrondissements-- from 9 on upward-- although of course there are great places in every arrondissement.

A couple of other pieces of advice to make your stay in Paris happier.

1) Dress up a little-- if you want to fit in, wear dark clothes. (Except-- in the summer, don't dress up too much.)

2) ALWAYS greet every single person you say anything to BEFORE you ask a question or buy something. This includes asking directions, asking store employees where to find something, buying metro tickets, getting on the bus, etc. Otherwise they will think you are rude, and might be rude back. 

BONJOUR, Madame, do you speak English? 
BONJOUR, M'sieu. I would like two croissants please.
BONJOUR, Madame. Which way to the metro?
BONJOUR, M'sieu. Where are the tomatoes?
BONJOUR, Madame. Two tickets please. 

Also say Bonjour when you enter a store (except for huge ones) and say au revoir when you leave. Very important. 

(To any older person, always say Bonjour, Madame or Monsieur, pronounced m'sieu-- it's a class marker in France and you will be treated better. You hear parents say "Bonjour QUI?" (Bonjour who?) to their kids who forget the Madame or Monsieur)

Not obeying this rule is the number one reason Americans are treated rudely in France. (Watch people ahead of you in line and you will see that every single one says Bonjour to the service person before asking anything.)

3) If you don't speak French, learn how to say in French, I don't speak French (je ne parle pas français)-- the French will find this charming and be nicer to you.

4) Most educated and most young people speak quite good English. If they don't, they'll be embarrassed that they don't. But never just walk up to someone and start talking in English. Always at least say "Do you speak English?" first.

5) If you need a French person/employee to help you, make it personal. Explain the story and appeal to them as an expert. The French love solving people's problems and will bend rules if necessary to help you. They're not as rigid as Americans. You will never hear the phrase "I didn't make the rules" from a French person! 

6) In a taxi or in a restaurant, no need to leave a big tip-- just round up a bit. For example, if a taxi costs 7 euros 50, leave 8 euros. If a coffee costs 4 euros 30, you could leave 5-- but you could also leave exact change with no hard feelings. 

7) Magic phrase is, "Excusez-moi de vous déranger." (Excuse me for bothering you.) This is very, very useful whenever you need someone's help, especially someone who is helping you by doing his or her job. Yes, to you it's just their job and it's normal for them to do their job. All the same, I promise that this phrase will help.

Bon courage!

 

Rosé weather

We have a visitor from California who is enjoying the hot Paris weather, which she assumed was normal-- after all, it's late May! 

H arrived home with two bottles of lovely rosé wine with script labels and plunked them on the counter. "Cheaper than bottled water!" he said.

Anomalies of French life: Loving New York

The French do not share the Middle American distaste for New York City. The mention of New York in a conversation will instantly call up coos of admiration and envy from those who have visited or those unfortunates who have never yet had the privilege of acquaintance with the Grosse Pomme.

A girl I know just got a coveted internship in New York City for the summer. She is very excited because she's never been to the U.S. and it was her dream to work in New York. She can't afford Manhattan rents and is living way up in Bronxville, and I hope that the commute doesn't put a dent in her enthusiasm. She also smokes and will find out the hard way about that....

Her friends put together a travel kit for her. She was already wearing the stars-and-stripes scarf when this photo was taken (notice the U.K. flag on the bottom. In France, this is often used as an abbreviation for "English," which really annoys me)!

with a few things from home in case she feels homesick:

To wind up the evening she posed in her new U.S. flag scarf, pointing up at McDonald's, beaming.

Parc Astérix: a visit to Gaul

Like Paris Disneyland, Astérix is a huge theme park less than an hour from Paris. It has crowds and long lines and attractions and shows. But if you would go to Disney, why not try something différent? 

I love Parc Astérix because it's unique and witty in a very French way.  You can like it because of the rides (it actually has more real rides than Disney and several are water rides, great on a hot day) or because you haven't seen anything like it before (if you're not French). It's based on the cartoon characters of the indomitable Gaulish warriors Astérix and Obélix, their opponent Julius Caesar, and their world: ancient Roman times. The park is divided into sections with themes of Rome, Greece, Gaul, Vikings, Paris in the Middle Ages (a bit anachronistic) or Egypt, and the rides have names like "Thunder of Zeus" -- the scariest wooden rollercoaster I've ever been on, where you feel as if you're going off a cliff-- or the new one "OzIris"-- an inverted rollercoaster which opened this year. Astérix has the biggest rollercoasters in Europe.

The sign at the parking lot sets the tone:

As you walk down the Roman road into the park, you see Latin graffiti on the wall and the bank (a real ATM) is called Creditum Lugdunum instead of Crédit Lyonnais. 

Not Disney Village!

"What are you doing for the next XXX years? My secret service is recruiting! Rome wants YOU!"

"Welcome to Gaul, a Roman province." Underneath: "not completely conquered." The sign at left says "Coming soon, an Arch of Triumph" and the graffiti says, "Julius, if you do that we'll turn you into a Roman ruin." On the right: "Helmet required."

The crowds are French and the shows are in French, not really multilingual like Disney, but dolphins and magic and singing work anywhere. On a summer weekend, if you don't want to wait in a line as long as your freshman year in college, there are simpler attractions.

"Galley for rent. Visit at low tide."

As someone who has graduated to waiting on a bench for the kids to come out of the Grand Splatch or Goudourix, I enjoy looking up and seeing things like this:

or this:

Super hay versus Unleaded hay

or this:

"Correct attire required. Non. Oui."

Two pieces of advice: if you go on a weekend, buy your tickets ahead of time on line and get there early. The park can fill up by 10h and then will close to further visitors. Second, don't get angry if people cut in line in front of you. It will happen, and getting angry will only ruin your day. Instead, just do what the French do and shrug your shoulders. After all, it's not your country-- it's Gaul!

And you know what they say.

Gourmands in the Galeries Lafayette elevator

Had to do some errands at Galeries Lafayette yesterday. Boy was it crowded! Lots and lots of Chinese and Middle Eastern tourists. It was the Ascension holiday, which means that a lot of people take four-day weekends. Basically it's hard to get much work done in Paris in May, what with the May Day (i.e. Labor Day), V-E Day, Ascension and Pentecost holidays, which are often combined with a weekend apiece. A nice run-up to the summer, especially if the weather is good.

I didn't have any milk and decided to get some at the gourmet store at Galeries Lafayette instead of making yet another stop on my way home. But of course, everything looked so good. An hour later, I got in the elevator with several other people. Everyone was in a good mood because of the holiday. We smiled at each other.

"I came in to get one or two things," I said, gesturing at my two full bags.

"I came in for cheese," said the man next to me. He had a grocery cart full.

"Even better," said another woman with a grocery cart. "I wasn't planning to go to the Galeries at all."

Mmm. The best tarte citron* I've ever tasted in Paris comes from the Japanese pâtisserie Sadaharu Aoki at Galeries Gourmet.

 

*Mine did not have any chocolate taste in it! S.A. must have changed the recipe.

Paris coat of arms: It floats!

Did you know that the coat of arms of Paris, a river city that lies far inland, is of a ship? The motto of the city is Fluctuat nec mergitur, "It floats but doesn't sink."

The sign says "Service of the sewers"

Because of this, you can see a ship symbolizing Paris in many different places, from election boards (top photo) to doorways to Paris theater-poster kiosks.

The parking cards you need to park legally on the street in Paris

See how many you can spot as you walk around the city! There's even one more on this page.

 

Anomalies of French life: the cigarette voice

 
Journalists Isaure du Fretay and Jean-Pierre Gaillard. J-P  starts talking at about 0:12

It took me a while to figure out why French radio authority figures sounded so different from American ones. The Americans, no matter their age, just sounded... younger somehow. One day I was listening to Radio France Info, as usual, and Jean-Pierre Gaillard came on with his emblématique "Jean-Pierre Gaillard: La Bourse" [the stock exchange]. His voice was deep and strong, somehow reassuring. Suddenly it hit me. 

Smoking is the reason these people's voices sound different.* 

Of course, there are still plenty of smokers in the U.S.A.  But on the whole, the upper and media classes (what the Brits call "the chattering classes") are non-smoking, and the broadcast scratchy voice disappeared years ago when they quit. 

 

*I have no idea if J-P smokes. My guess is he used to smoke a lot and has given up in the past few years-- he's not as scratchy as he used to be.